Player Capsules, 2012 #4-6: Greg Monroe, Tristan Thompson, John Salmons

Posted on Fri 06 July 2012 in 2012 Player Capsules by Aaron McGuire

As our summer mainstay, Aaron's going to be writing a 370-part series discussing almost every notable player who was -- as of last season -- getting minutes in the NBA. Intent is to get you talking, thinking, and appreciating the myriad of wonderful folks who play in our favorite sports league. This afternoon's three players, in our second installment: Greg Monroe, Tristan Thompson, and John Salmons. Below the fold.

• • •

Follow Greg Monroe on twitter at @MooseGM10.

Greg Monroe is one of those rare cases of a primarily offensively focused player who's yet to be ridiculously overrated by everyone around him. This is not to say that this is all Monroe will be -- I'm of the strong opinion that a man his size and steadily-strengthening frame will develop into a very positive defender, if only we give him the time (and the organization) to help him do it. Someday. It won't necessarily be soon, and it may not even happen in Detroit. But I have a lot of faith in Monroe. Perhaps it's because, early in his career, I thought Roy Hibbert somewhat shiftless on defense as well. But he grew into his frame, and I'm not eager to make the same mistake of overlooking an enormously talented Georgetown alumni twice. Just won't do it. But, for what it's worth, what Greg Monroe does well he already does extremely well. And efficiently, too. Given their similarly terrible defensive "skillsets", it's actually starting to become an open question -- which player from his class (barring Griffin, who will always be considered a 2009 rookie to me) is really better than Monroe?

It's an open question, and if I had to answer it, I don't think I'd be able to really pick anyone out of the crowd. Monroe's sophomore season was incredibly impressive, and I felt he was about a dime and a rebound short of a deserving all-star berth. It's not just the numbers he got, it's the sense that he could've done a lot better if the Pistons schemes didn't consistently freeze the poor man out. There were games this season -- take this soon-to-be-forgotten close loss at the Boston Garden early in the season -- where Monroe essentially destroyed all-comers. He obliterated Garnett every time he touched the ball (he shot 9-12 against Kevin Garnett as his primary defender -- I watched the game in its entirety, and for the majority of the game, Garnett was covering Monroe), using a wide and dizzying array of post moves and grit. He did this despite playing only 33 minutes in the game, and -- more ridiculously -- shooting zero shots in the entire fourth quarter. He shot 75% from the floor against Kevin Garnett and the Pistons didn't think to go "hey, wait, maybe we should... try to leverage that matchup, per-haps?" Never really crossed their mind?

Well, it eventually did. Monroe-led efforts beat the Celtics in every subsequent matchup that season. So... there's that.

This brings us back to the opening notation -- Monroe is an amazing offensive player. He's an incredibly solid rebounding presence, as well -- he only played 31 MPG last year, but his per-36 averages were a somewhat absurd 18-11-3-2-1 on an even more ridiculous 14 field goal attempts per game. He fills the stat sheet like virtually none other, and if you can pick him up in your fantasy league, by all means, do so. I'd imagine, though, that this offensive talent would've led him to become overrated at some point. Just another overheralded offense-first big man -- the next overhyped Brook Lopez in a long line of the sort. But, well... he hasn't. If you mention Greg Monroe -- even among many really awesome NBA scribes -- the only thing most people know about him is that he's a bad defender who plays for Detroit. I'm serious. So, there's my confusion. Every time I watch Monroe play I see a player that's statistically dominant from the center position but woefully, woefully underutilized by his team.

I also see -- as everyone else does -- a player whose defense last season was even worse than his somewhat iffy rookie defense. He needs to work on his lower body strength so he doesn't get pushed around so much on the block, and he absolutely needs to develop better footwork. He's got nimble hands and a good first step, which helped him be not-quite-terrible at defending the pick and roll (at least to my eyes) but his overall defensive game does need some improvement. Still, I wouldn't ever classify Monroe as some shiftless, incompetent defender. I'd classify him as a young and slightly embryonic defender whose offensive game is extraordinarily advanced for his age and whose overall command of the floor is mightly impressive when you consider the weak pieces around him. He's their only consistent threat, and as a result, he gets doubled constantly -- it doesn't matter. He still gets it done. Monroe may not be in a great situation, but don't let that obfuscate the weight of his contributions. The kid's got a grown-man game, and he's a month separated from his 22nd birthday. He has time. He's already impressive, and he's a singular bright spot for a franchise that's been something of a dark practical joke since the misbegotten Billups trade and the awful dual Villanueva/Gordon signings. And if you're going to have a singular bright spot, you might as well try to make it as bright as a guy like Monroe -- the 10th Moose GM of the year*.

* ... also, to clear this up. I'm serious. His Twitter handle is "Moose GM #10." I will never cease to find this amusing. Later in his career, when Greg Monroe starts a professional Moose-jousting league and serves as General Manager of its star franchise, millions will lament that they didn't see it coming. You, having been now forced to pay attention to his Twitter handle, will know. You know the score. You're welcome.

• • •

Follow Tristan Thompson on twitter at @RealTristan13.

Okay. I don't generally watch the draft. I know, kind of ridiculous. I was raised, to some extent, a Cavs fan -- I certainly had my choice of who to root for (which led to my love for Tim Duncan, David Robinson, and my eventual developed love-from-afar for the Spurs), but my grandfather loved Cleveland teams and I loved my grandfather. So, therefore, I'm a Cleveland fan. And last year, Cleveland had the first and fourth picks in the draft. For once -- only the second time in 5 or 6 years -- I considered watching the draft. Really mulled it over. The answer was decided in an executive decision by my girlfriend, however -- it was not a night for the draft, it was date night. Alas.

I was clever, though. I got my mom, a die-hard Cavs fan -- love you, Mom! -- to agree to text me our #1 and #4 picks after the #4 was chosen. I figured I'd get the picks at dinner, internalize an opinion on them, and talk about them with Alex later. Well, draft night comes. We go out to her favorite burger joint. We're eating fried green tomatoes, when my phone goes off. I glance at it. #1 Kyrie Irving, yay! #4 Tristan Thompson... wait, do you know who that is? My face -- content as I read Kyrie -- turned to stone as I finished the text. I stare at my girlfriend, aghast. "WE CHOSE TRISTAN THOMPSON?!"

"Huh?" The waitress stares at us. Everyone could hear me. I do not notice.

"TRISTAN THOMPSON! Dude had a free throw percentage UNDER 50%. IN COLLEGE."

"I... wait, what?"

"We passed over Jonas Valanciunas! He's amazing! I watched so much tape!"

"... are you talking about basketball? We agreed, no basketball. Aaron, this is date night."

Welp.

The damage was done. The date was ruined. Not even the waitress incorrectly asking whether I was talking about a new Jonas brother could make things right. Alack. Unfortunately for my stress level watching the Cavs, I was proceeded to be proven somewhat right and somewhat wrong, in his rookie season -- Thompson has a tenuous grasp on the concept of "how to shoot a basketball", and his talent for creatively goaltending shots would make Serge Ibaka and JaVale McGee blush with vicious envy. However, it wasn't all bad. He was the best non-Kyrie player from the rather disappointing lottery, even if Kawhi Leonard, Isaiah Thomas, and Kenneth Faried were 10-20x better than he was. His talent for offensive rebounds translated relatively effectively to the major leagues (even if his defensive rebounding was godawful) and his defense -- while shaky -- shows some promise. Still kind of wish the Cavs had picked Big V, especially watching more recent footage, but I'd welcome the chance to be proven wrong by a vengeful Thompson. Which, yes, is an invitation. Openly. I will say this aloud, for all to hear. Tristan Thompson: I ruined a date because of shock and awe at your selection.

Please make me look like a fool for doing so.

Thanks in advance, buddy.

• • •

Follow John Salmons on twitter at @bucsalmons.

Alright. This is the first player on this list whose on-court play I unequivocally cannot stand. It's not that the theory of John Salmons is all that bad. As a player, he's relatively average -- he's your everyday three point gunner with a penchant for taking foot-on-the-line long twos that make fans of his team anguished and fans of their opponent happy. I don't tend to like those players -- not really my cup of tea -- but if you're cool with that style than you'd probably be OK with John Salmons. And it's worth noting that Salmons is legitimately a solid person. He's a family man, and a seriously devout Christian. Betting you didn't know that. Regardless, my issues stem not with Salmons (who I'm sure is a great guy in real life). The issue with Salmons is all on-court. And for me, it's mostly that he's ridiculously overpaid to be "that guy" -- he makes, believe it or not, $8.5 million dollars a year to throw up long twos, dole out a few tertiary assists, and snag a few rebounds. Why, you might ask, does John Salmons make that kind of money? Because he's smarter than us. Because John Salmons is better than you or I at peaking at the right time.

Look. I'll stop being snide and cut to the chase. John Salmons -- nice guy though he may be -- is a contract year player, through and through. He redefines the concept. He is the world's leading practitioner at it. He puts in some effort during off years, sure -- enough to have a game or two every year where he does a lot of good things and makes General Managers feel better about themselves for signing him to the ridiculous deals he's lived off for his entire career. Like this one, last year. But for the most part, Salmons has spent his entire career playing ridiculously good basketball when he's on the verge of signing a new contract and ridiculously poor basketball otherwise. The greatest trick Salmons ever played on the world was when he shot a contract-year powered 38% from behind the arc for 2010's surprising Milwaukee Bucks. The greatest trick he ever played on the world was... well, it wasn't really a trick, it was more a General Manager's awful decision to give him his current mess of a contract. STILL.

That thinking is what's led to our current situation -- one where John Salmons, the basketball player, has made $40,000,000 in his NBA career. This means that John Salmons has made more in his NBA career than the Gross Domestic Product of the island nation of Tuvalu. Just putting that out there. At least he has a cool beard. Also, he's the first NBA player I've seen who actually has fewer followers than I do. Granted, it's not a confirmed account, but if that actually is Salmons that's hilarious and ridiculous.

• • •

For the uninitiated, I'll continually restate this -- at the end of each post, I'll be scribing riddles for the next batch of players. Whoever gets the most riddles right will get a shout out at the end of the next post. Tweet me your answers at @docrostov, or post them in the comments. If several people tie, I'll post everyone who tied. No overtime in this riddle-guessing competition, guys. For the last post, the winner of our respect goes to @krishnanwarrior, who got 2/3 of these players correct. (And no, I'm not sure how he did it.) Five players to guess for next Monday, which should be entertaining. Gentlemen, start your thinking.

  • Player #7's perilous descent into his own inferno would have been a really popular storyline, if he was a less marginal player.
  • The potential and promise in Player #8's game could start a war... though probably only if Noam had a warship.
  • If I was to assess the probabilities that a current NBA player would pull a Kermit Washington, Player #9 would head the leaderboard.
  • Short, stocky, dealt with a heart problem. Still a pretty solid center, though, that Player #10.
  • I don't think we're ever going to forget Player #11's 2009 playoff run. Which is good, because beyond that, he's been awful ugly.

See you on Monday, folks. Have a good weekend.


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Player Capsules, 2012 #1-3: Jarrett Jack, Ish Smith, Pau Gasol

Posted on Fri 06 July 2012 in 2012 Player Capsules by Aaron McGuire

As our summer mainstay, Aaron's going to be writing a 370-part series discussing almost every notable player who was -- as of last season -- getting minutes in the NBA. Intent is to get you talking, thinking, and appreciating the myriad of wonderful folks who play in our favorite sports league. This morning's three players, in our first installment: Jarrett Jack, Ishmael Smith, and Pau Gasol. Due to length, we'll hold off on an all-five grouping and post three more players later in the day.

• • •

Follow Jarrett Jack on twitter at @JarrettJacko3.

Here we start. Not LeBron, not an All-Star, not a DPoY -- Jarrett Jack, the starting point guard of the New Orleans Hornets.

I want to get one thing clear, before we discuss our first player. The order here is completely random. Totally random. I set up a random draw for each of the 370 players from a 0 to 1 uniform distribution, then ordered the list based on that. No changing the order mid-stream, no rearranging deck chairs to get the players I like the most done first. I've done very little in the realm of actually examining the order -- to some extent, I'm going to be as surprised as anyone at the order the players come up. Helps make sure I stay honest with these, you know?

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that despite the list's random order, I'm not sure I could've personally chosen a better first player than Jack. Jarrett Jack is a prime example of that large swath of players that find themselves slightly under the standards for mass relevancy -- not quite an all-star, not quite egregiously overpaid, and not quite a college star everyone recognizes. If you saw Jack on the street, you might not recognize him -- he's a bit tall, and built like a mack truck, but he's not necessarily going to stand out in a crowd as an NBA player. In basketball terms, though, he's a bit too underheralded for my taste. Jack can play, if you give him the chance. And last season in New Orleans provides a good example -- Jack played more minutes per game than he ever had in his career, and the man produced. He put up the 12th of this season's 24 triple-doubles, held the offense down, and provided some defense on the perimeter within Monty's brilliant switching system on a Hornets team that was nowhere near as bad as its record, and nowhere near as bad as I'd predicted they'd be. He isn't a $10-15 million a year guy, but at the price he'll probably command after this season ($6-7 million), he'll probably be worth it as a 4th or 5th starter.

And then there's the personal story, which is wonderful. I don't want to belabor the point when you should just go and read Holly McKenzie's magnificent opus on the pair, but Monty Williams and Jarrett Jack's family have a long history together -- Jack's dad was one of Monty's strongest influences when Monty was a young player, and in return, as an assistant in Portland Monty helped raise Jack to play the right way when Jack was coming up in the league. It's a pretty neat story, especially when you hear either Monty or Jack talk about the other. There's clearly a level of mutual respect and kinship between the two that's rare, both in professional sports and in general life. It was a rare collection of factors and luck that conspired to bring Jack to Monty's tutelage in the first place, and a nice capper reunited them in New Orleans. Thanks to all that, we get an engaging pair that's fun to cheer for and makes each other better. All things considered? You probably could've guessed this, but I hope the Hornets keep him. Monty and Jack together again is one of those wonderful twists of fate that make the meta-stories of the league interesting.

It's one thing to read story after story about a player meshing with a coach and becoming friends -- they're heartwarming stories, no doubt, and interesting to boot. But the personal touch on Jack's parallel journey to Monty's first coached team combined with the Hornets' general need of a point guard makes this a pairing I really hope sticks. Jack's not my favorite player, per se, but he's by all accounts one of the good guys. To me, he's one of the myriad of people that make the NBA better than just any old sports league. Absolutely a good representative of the guys that make the NBA a league of people I really like, and the reason projects like this are so fun to me. So good on you, Jack, for being the guy you are. Keep rockin' it.

• • •

Follow Ishmael Smith on twitter at @ishsmith.

Ishmael Smith is a tiny guy. Maybe not relative to most of our readers, but relative to most NBA players -- he's 6'0", and from footage I've seen, I'd say that might be an inch generous. He's played for four NBA franchises (along with a single D-League crew) thus far in a relatively spotty career, never taking a particularly large role and never being called on to do much more than playing 10-12 minutes every two or three games. Unlike most marginal NBA players, Ish Smith has a glorious NBA skill that's led to a somewhat outsized NBA following: an absolutely electric transition game. Seriously. He may be a bit tiny, but Smith is fast -- if he gets the ball and has enough daylight to get to the rim, he's got the ability to dazzle. Never was this more obvious than in his brief jaunt at his 2010 Summer League play, where NBA aficionados got the chance to see undersized wonders in him and Pooh Jeter explode into semi-prominence and display their NBA-ready skills. In Pooh's case, it was an overall multifaceted game and a decent looking shot for a small guy. In the case of Smith, it was an electric ability to get to the rim and run NBA-level transition plays even without NBA talent around him.

Make no mistake -- if Smith was a few inches taller, a little bit stronger, and had a slightly less busted shot? He'd probably be a Ramon Sessions-type of player, very valuable to the right system. His transition game is absolutely sublime. For this reason, I'm holding out hope that the Magic resign him -- he's one of the more entertaining garbage time players to watch, and while he doesn't have a particularly high ceiling, there's something to be said for resigning a nice guy with a great motor and at least one entertaining NBA skill. I'm not gonna fool myself into thinking Ish will be a starter in the league someday, because he probably won't. But he can be a solid backup's backup if he works his shot a bit, and there's no doubt in my mind that as long as he stays in the NBA his transition brilliance will make him a compelling garbage time all-star. Fun fact: before he played his first NBA minute, people had a nickname for him. Ish "the Dish" Smith! ... whoa there, buddy, I didn't say it was a good nickname.

• • •

Follow Pau Gasol on twitter at @paugasol.

Pau Gasol is -- beyond his quality as a player, which we'll get to -- an interesting person. He's one of the most book-smart players in the NBA, having dropped out of one of the top medical schools in Barcelona at the age of 18 to follow his growth spurt and pursue a far more lucrative career in basketball. He didn't drop out because of grades, or some inability to hack it -- he dropped out because, well... if you were a 7'0" man with a talent in sport who could make hundreds of millions of dollars playing a game you love, wouldn't you? He actually thought, early in his career, that if he retired early enough he'd take a stab at getting his M.D. post-NBA and practicing medicine. Age and being all-too productive in the NBA put an end to that pipe dream, but (luckily, I'd say) hasn't put an end to the inherent curiosity of Pau Gasol. Despite the dropout, he certainly hasn't dulled down his interests or his tastes -- still goes to the opera, still volunteers at hospitals, still studies new languages to keep his mind fresh. He reads glorious thousand-page histories and plays French concertos on the keyboard. He does it all. A renaissance man in every possible respect.

As for his game? Fun. Historically, Gasol's statistical game is virtually peerless, and we'll get to that in a bit. Let's discuss his style in a more improvisational manner. Gasol is a bit emotional, at least in his on-court stylings -- he's got the mood and sensibilities of the Opera stars he loves to watch. Not in his ability to flop, no -- in his ability to simply emote that which he's feeling through his play. If he's frustrated, his play becomes out-of-sync and tenuous. If he's happy, his game has a certain element of joy -- every hook shot let off with a smile, every rebound pulled down with abandon, every bench cheer a cause for incredible celebration. It's not an broad mirror that overwhelms the way he plays, like Ricky Rubio's infectious enthusiasm or Manu Ginobili's pathological intensity. No, it's more a seasoning. A slight shade of emotion sprinkled over his already entertaining game.

And it makes Gasol, more than most players, something of an open book. Is he frustrated about trade rumors? Well, you'll probably be able to tell by watching him play. Is Kevin Garnett's illegal defense getting him down? There'll probably be a lack of pep to his step. Is he playing too many minutes? You'll know far before you realize what's going on. And so on, and so forth. It's one of the reasons the Lakers have been at their core a frustrating team for their fans -- Pau Gasol's game just seems to be so much better when he looks happy and confident. He's happiest when the Lakers are dominating. He's at his least confident when things are a bit rough. And so, somewhat predictably, many Laker fans notice the dismal depths into which Gasol sinks and scream and shout. Sometimes, they overlook the effortless dominance exerted by a happy and contented Gasol. They overlook the wonders Pau can produce when he's happy and at peace with himself and the league.

But that was then. This is now. Pau is older than you think. He's been in the league 11 years, which usually wouldn't be all that much, but he brought with him a ton of miles from his playing days in Barcelona and he runs a full-on all-out schedule for the Spanish National Team, almost every year. The description of his statistical game that you may be waiting for SHOULD come here, but I don't really have the heart to give it beyond the basics. Pau's last two seasons were two of the worst of his career if you consider them in totality -- which is pretty astonishing, given that he was a strong MVP candidate through the first two months of the 2011 season. He's played tired, exhausted, and far too much. His post moves aren't quite as effective as they used to be, his shot isn't quite as wet, his rebounding isn't quite as prolific, and he's simply starting to show signs of age. I was of the opinion that in 2009 and 2010, Pau Gasol was the 1b to Howard's 1a -- easily the second best big man in the league, and one could make a rather compelling case that he was the best.

Not anymore, though. He's now in a stage of his career where -- on this Laker team -- he'll be reduced to the fourth option on the offensive end and essentially turned into a spot-up shooter and rebounding whiz-kid. I'm not sure if I like it. Far be it from me to root for a Laker -- as a Spurs fan, you must understand, I'm not great shakes for the franchise -- but Pau is easily my favorite Laker of the last 10-20 years. He's just about the most interesting person in the league, his game provided so much joy to watch before the Lakers' recent downward spell, and the way Pau's game emanates emotion has always been an aspect I greatly respect. Now, as his age increases and his usage level drops to subterranean levels, I'm left silently wondering who in the world is really going to remember Pau Gasol. When we discuss Kobe's storied legacy in the future, and list off the greatest big men in the Lakers' history, who's going to be the one to bring up their Big Spaniard?

Well, okay. I'm a Spurs fan. So I probably won't be person to those discussions. But if for some reason I happen to be, I'll tip a hat in his direction. You should too. Think about him. Realize what he's meant -- to you, the league, his nation. Really. He's pretty excellent. So here's to you, Pau. Interesting to a fault, emotive to the core, and may never get quite the appreciation he deserves from the throngs of Laker fans descendent upon comment pages and sports bars everywhere. You did good. Wish everyone could've seen it before your game began the slow, plodding decline that old age brings all the greats.

• • •

At the end of each post, I'll be scribing riddles for the next batch of players. Whoever gets the most riddles right will get a shout out at the end of the next post. Tweet me your answers at @docrostov, or post them in the comments. If several people tie, I'll post everyone who tied. No overtime in this riddle-guessing competition, guys.

  • Warriors fans are going to regret passing on Player #4 for a very, very long time.
  • In a strange and inverted way, Player #5 follows in Chris Bosh's three-toed dinosaur-shaped footsteps.
  • Now HERE'S a player I don't want anywhere near any team I like. The lovefest ends with you, Player #6.

These three will be posted later today. Enjoy.


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An Introduction to the 2012 Gothic Ginobili Player Capsules

Posted on Fri 06 July 2012 in 2012 Player Capsules by Aaron McGuire

Here at the Gothic, we have a big and possibly-too-often restated goal. We want to start discussions. We like talking -- not merely to hear our own voices, but to really engage our readers and the mass online following of basketball as a whole. Now, there isn't a ton to talk about in a long offseason. I think we all know that. There's the occasional trade, of course, and this year we have the Olympics to tide us over. (And yes, we'll be offering a bunch of Olympic coverage as well -- don't worry about that.) But on the whole, there's not all that much to talk about, other than frittering away at the narratives of a season gone by and handicapping a season we as-of-yet know nothing about. Not much to ruminate. We'd like to allay that, at least partially -- we'd like to give everyone something to talk about.

So here we are. ESPN has their crowdsourced #NBARank, Basketball Prospectus has its excellent preseason guide, and the esteemed John Hollinger has his thorough examinations of each player in the league for insider. And us, here at the Gothic? We offer for your consumption -- as both an offseason and an early season feature -- our Gothic Ginobili Player Capsules. Last season, before this blog even began, I did a whole lot of these. Seriously, a ton. In the GG archives we have a select few -- 30, to be precise -- but rest assured there were quite a few more. I completed 271 player capsules in the run-up to the 2012 season. They were posted on a private discussion forum, and most likely, will never see the light of day. They weren't at all edited, included more vulgarities than a classic J. Dana Teague rant, and some went far too long/short. It was a mess, basically.

This year, I'm going a bit loony. I've taken a list of every player in the NBA that played over 100 minutes last season -- that's 440 guys. I sifted through that list and took out 70 more players, because I couldn't find anything interesting to say about them and I needed to cut this project down to at least a moderately manageable amount. The plan, as it stands? Talk about the 370 players left. All of them. I've done some outlining, got some basic points set up, and worked the format down to where I get enough leeway to talk but enough structure to feel like everything comes together. I've compiled statistics for each player, articles, reports, et cetera.

And for the rest of 2012, I'm going to talk about them. Here's the plan, in a convenient and easily updated FAQ format.

• • •

WHAT'S THE SCHEDULE?

When I started this project, updates came Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with six players each day. This quickly fell by the wayside as an outright ridiculous goal, leading to the current structure -- one post per day, Monday through Friday, three players a post. Around 10-15 thousand words a week, give or take. Lots of writing. As of August's conclusion, I'm proud to say I've only missed two days -- given that I'm a third of the way through the project, I admit, I'm pretty surprised about that. Still.

IS THIS GOING TO BE ALL YOU GUYS DO FOR THE ENTIRE OFFSEASON?

This is going to make up the majority of the Gothic's coverage this summer. This is a fact. I know that personally, this will make up the vast majority of my posts this summer. That doesn't mean that we aren't going to have other neat content, though -- Tuesdays and Thursdays will remain content-rich days for us, with our stable of wonderful writers (Adam Koscielak, Alex Arnon, Jacob Harmon, and most likely one or two new additions you'll be meeting soon) scribing their thoughts and mores as Alex Dewey leads them forward into a H.A.M. set of content primarily composed of Olympic content, thoughts on the free agency market, and a new audio courtroom-esque feature we'll be introducing in a few weeks. We aren't resting on our laurels, here. Trust us.

HOW DID YOU CHOOSE CAPSULE ORDERING? WHY HASN'T [MY FAVORITE PLAYER] GONE YET?

I will state this over and over again, ad infinitum. People will forever continue to disbelieve me. (Or troll me by pretending to disbelieve me.) I will state this as clearly as I can. THE ORDER IS RANDOM. I didn't alter, modify, or change any of the player ordering that my randomizer produced. The only element that could be conceivably considered non-random is the fact that no computer randomizer is truly random in the long run -- they rely on set seeds in a pre-randomized list that for most programs goes on longer than most human beings can comprehend. But for all intents and purposes this is a random list. So, if you're wondering why a team has been oversampled in the first 20-30 players, or why your team's star hasn't come up yet? Blame random numbers, not me. (Or, alternatively... if you blame me, you also are obligated to admit that it is your belief that I have control over all random numbers. Because that would be a pretty awesome power for a statistician to have.)

• • •

Looking for an organized directory of all capsules? You've come to the right place. Check out our capsule directory, where you can filter and sort our completed capsules by player age, team, and position. Go to the team pages for team salary data and interesting stuff like that. If you have any feature suggestions for the directory, please feel free to comment on this post or email us at "staff [at] gothicginobili [dot] com". It's fun stuff.


As a tertiary feature, we will be featuring extended versions of certain capsules at other websites to spread the word. So far, capsules that fall under this designation of Player Capsules (Plus) include the following:

If you have more questions, ask in the comments below, or ask me on Twitter (my handle is @docrostov). Stay frosty.


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